Stink Bug Survivor

I’m not just all about the things my kids do. Even though they are mostly the individuals with incidents that make me laugh, cry or search for a rock to crawl under, I (occasionally) have some stories of my own.

Let’s take yesterday for example. Stink bugs. They’re such a pain. They have been showing up here and there over the winter, mostly in my bathroom. I see them alive and I see them dead. Yesterday, there was a dead one, on its back with the legs curled up, on the floor of my bathroom right in front of the toilet. It wasn’t moving, at all. Trust me, I watched it for a healthy minute to assess the situation. It was dead. I took 2 squares of toilet paper. Don’t waste it. You only need 2 squares! I grabbed the dead stink bug with the ever so economical 2 squares of toilet paper and made sure it was smack in the middle of the toilet paper and threw it in the toilet. It was completely between the two squares and the squares were floating on top of the water.

Now, I’m very aware of the water usage crisis, aka, water costs money and that my husband frequently reminisces to his childhood when in the summer, the motto was “If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down.” They had a water crisis EVERY summer. Trust me, I hear about it every Christmas when the whole family is together. It’s comical every time I hear it. Anyway, I felt it necessary to just let it in there while I relieved myself. After all, it was dead, right? No use in wasting a flush on a dead stink bug when I can get a 2 for 1 flush. I was sooooo wrong.

While I’m sitting on the toilet, up comes the stink bug between my legs and I jump up and try to get it off my thigh. I finally get it off using 2 more frugal squares of toilet paper, throw it back into the toilet and press the handle for the momentous flush. Thank goodness I was “done” and there was no collateral damage. Except for now, I’ll be wasting my free flush on stink bugs.